if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize