dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
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