Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I just want to make out with him forever
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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