Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
