Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
