I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
