You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Green mimosas i think yes
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
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