Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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