Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
me + whiskey = a bad person
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
Randomize
