Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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