evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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