Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
