Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
