no, he came in my armpit
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
