Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Randomize
