some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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