never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Randomize
