What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I smell like Dick and happiness
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
