You can't special order awesome
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
sex in a hospital.. check
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
there is glitter all over my balls
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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