You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
