Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
