how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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