it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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