So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
