We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
false alarm. still invincible.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Randomize
