sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
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