I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Randomize
