pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
