Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
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