ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
