There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Randomize
