is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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