If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
