you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize
