Having a random hookup so left but love u
i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
