My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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