Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Randomize
