His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
