Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
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