i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Of course I have a pirate flag
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
So here I am, sexting at work.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
