he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
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