There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
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