i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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