the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
