My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
