You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Randomize
