I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
