Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Randomize
