how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
This house was built for laser tag.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize