the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
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