Just mADE A PArabola og urine
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
