She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
