I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
you didnt know i had herpes?
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
