I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I am mentally ready for anal.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
Randomize
