Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I just found a bag of teeth...
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize