When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Randomize
