Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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