Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Randomize
