She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
