Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
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