The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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