he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
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