the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
