I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize